self-esteem (2)
Self esteem refers to how we think about ourselves, or how much we value ourselves. We don't mean conceit or arrogance, but whether we approve of and value who we are as people.
Self esteem is a complex issue and often has its roots in very early experiences. It's an important part of sexuality because it affects both what we do and how we feel.
People who have a clear and positive sense of their self worth are better able to communicate to others what they want and need. Because they feel secure, they can also "give and take" in an appropriate way without compromising their values.
They're true to themselves because they don't need another person's approval in order to feel good about themselves. Approval is nice, but their sense of being a good person doesn't depend on it.
On the other hand, people with low self esteem often compromise their values to win approval from other, doing things that are unsafe or that violate their own sense of what's right.
Of course, doing things you think are wrong also has a negative effect on your self esteem, so it can become a vicious cycle.
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Follow your convictions and express your own style. Remember that you're trying to be the best you possible. Revisit your childhood interests and goals. Make a list of things you'd still like to do or learn and then take a step towards these goals today.
Spend less time with critical people and more time with those who appreciate you. You don't need to keep putting emotional energy into draining relationships.
Spend some time alone at the end of each day. Review what happened and how you were feeling. Write it down in a journal and track your progress.
Put your values into practice by getting involved with a local charity or community project. Volunteering allows us to gain perspective on our own lives, and provides a sense of purpose – an essential ingredient for happiness and healthy self-esteem.
Take a look at your life and the people you share your world with. Do they:
• Treat you with love and respect?
• Encourage you to explore your talents and interests?
• Are thrilled when you succeed?
• Listen when you need to complain?
• Help you bounce back from a setback without making you feel guilty?
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